CHUCK NORRIS vs an IRAQI INSURGENT

Sweeeettttt! It is official...I finally have a permanent place to live and should be moving into my approximately 10ft x 12ft trailer by this weekend. Yep, it's pretty much a large dog kennel....kinda smells that way also...but it's MY dog kennel. On top of it all, looks like I'll have Internet connectivity at my "residence". Also, I've been able to finalize what unit I will be assigned to throughout my time here. I can only confirm that it is an Army unit...nothing more to divulge... you friggin spies.

As I've kinda eluded to recently; daily life takes a very strange twist while here. One example: Primarily around this area, toilet facilities are spartan. Primarily they are nothing more than your standard porta-toilet....fun, fun. Anyways, there is one particular porta-toilet that I visit routinely that is covered in graffiti. Now you may think, "How horrible...people being destructive". Actually all of the graffiti is based on Chuck Norris...every single bit of it...all about Chuck Norris. Somehow in my delusioned, brain-damaged, Iraq hating state...I find it hilarious. Trust me some of the graffiti is truly funny. I would give some examples here but most are not appropriate. I promise I will back fill all of you with a few of them at a later date...when I'm feeling less appropriate. Anyways, I look forward to my Chuck Norris toilet every day.

Take care everyone...and to R, K and G: I miss you guys.

ALL that is NOT NORMAL

Well, so far I'm starting to establish a daily pattern which helps the time go by quicker. Unfortunately, since I'm going to be moving from my wonderful tent and cot into a trailer soon...everything will soon become disrupted. Yesterday, I did buy a little piece of carpet for the area next to my cot. Talk about making a world of difference. It is so much nicer to put my little footsies down on carpet vice dirty plywood. I also bought a small fold-up camping chair. Again, much nicer to sit my rear-end down on a chair instead of the dirty plywood as aforementioned. Yes, I guess you could say, "It's the little things in life.". Now if I could only convince the military to invest in Charmin...I would truly be a happy man.

Anyways, in my last post I failed to mentioned a group of folks from Maine. On my trip to the sandbox, our flight landed in Bangor, Maine for a refueling stop. I personally have never been there...but first impressions mean alot. This place is phenomenal. When we walked off the plane, we were greeted by two rows of local folks. I would guess there were about 40 people present; just to say, "Thank you" and "We support you". It was absolutely amazing. Some were veterans of former wars...who I'm sure never received anything like this. Some were just local folks, who greeted us with a smile and a hug. Did I mention that they are there for every "troop transport" aircraft that lands in Bangor. The group calls themselves the "Maine Troop Greeters"....I like it...nothing fancy. These folks were great and really brightened everyone's spirits.

Bangor, Maine...you are now one of my favorite places. You made us feel good about a somewhat bleak situation. After thanking one of the gentlemen profusely and telling him, "I wish I could repay your hospitality." He looked at me and said, "Lieutenant Commander...you are repaying me with your service."

Enough Said.

FROM BAGHDAD with LOVE

I'm back! I finally made it to Iraq..via a few other countries and locations. None of which are remotely as nice as Texas. When I first arrived here, it was already night time. That definitely limits one's ability to assess things. On top of that it had rained here a few days before...so everything was completely muddy...I mean everything. So first impression....this place blows. Not to be outdone...the next day I woke up and didn't feel too well. That progressed throughout the day into me "camping-out" next to the porta-toilet mumbling to myself and hoping that I would be able to survive the next wave of nausea and...yep...you guessed it..the other end too. After about 8 hours of that, I decided to drag my sorry butt down to the medical facility and get some help. I'm better now....but my first day in Iraq....was just what I expected...crappy.

Along those same lines; I know up till now that I've appeared not to be a fan of the Army. Well the folks at the medical facility changed my mind. It was quite possibly the friendliest, (dare I say this) most efficient trip to a medical clinic I've ever had. They really took care of me. On top of that all the Army folks here in theater seem extremely motivated and professional. I guess I must retract my earlier disparaging remarks about the Army...still glad I'm in the Navy, though. Anyways that was my first 24 hours in Iraq...quite the intro!

Sitting in my tent seems surreal at times...almost reminiscent of my childhood; camping with my dad in Illinois. Then, a giant muddy (remember from above) hand slaps me in the face and reminds me that I'm sitting in the middle of Iraq...a place where a large portion of the population doesn't like me. Doesn't like me to point...that they want to kill me. And I can tell you this...My wife would be extremely angry with me if I let someone kill me. And you don't want to make a red-head mad...whooooeeeee. The big muddy hand I'm referring to was the mortars that impacted our camp; followed by the Apache helicopters flying over....oh, and how can I forget the tanks and Humvee driving around. Oh well, I'll close my eyes...and still think about camping with my dad in Illinois. It gets me through the day.

I'll close today with a quote that I think sums up things. "There is no fact or absolute; only interpretations." My good buddy Friedrich Nietzsche came up with that one. Think about it for a moment...you'll get it.

A LONG PAINFUL WAY TO GO.

Everyone, just a quick note to say that I know I've been horrible about posting lately...Sorry. But all this ARRRMMMYYYY training has me very tired. I will be making my trip into country within the next week...so once I'm established, I will have to catch up on the posts. I'll have some pictures and interesting "Barbie-isms" to add for everyone's entertainment.

I had an interesting day today. We spent the day at the local "combat-town", kicking in doors and room clearing and other cool stuff like that. It was quite possibly the most enjoyable training that I've received so far from the Army. Unfortunately, it was a COMPLETE waste. My job in Iraq will not be to kick in doors and take down insurgents...at least I don't think so. Well, I guess they could surprise me. Still, it was great training and extremely fun...just not neccesarily relevent to what I'll be doing over there. Oh well, c'est la vie. I don't speak French...that was my best effort.

I have had the opportunity to meet and make friends with some great people while I've been here. I have to give a "HOOAHHH" ( That's Army speak for any word that you need to use; for any subject) to BKS 3941. Pretty much, I live with a bunch of escaped convicts that are masquerading as Naval Officers. I COULD NOT have picked a better group of roommates....except for you two bastards that snore all night....I hate you.

Everyone take care and please stay tuned to the Barbie Channel for more updates. I'll get on it.

THAT'S the FACT...JACK!!

Sorry I've been so long in writing everyone. Things have been hectic for a few days. I'm presently in South Carolina at the final training stop..before I head across the big pond to the big sandbox; or kitty-litter box if you prefer. I have to be honest with everyone...I'm not enjoying this portion of the training. The actual training that is taking place is very good and that part is well received and understood by me. But the manner in which it is conducted...well...just sucks. INEFFICIENT!!!! I'm here for 2 weeks, which could be shortened to about 4 days. But that would mean that the Army couldn't hold 10 useless formations for about 15 minutes each...EVERYDAY. Call me crazy, but that seems ridiculous.

The training itself is great. We've been issued our weapons for a couple of days now...and I think most folks are getting comfortable with them. Definitely brings back Marine Corps days for me. The overall quality of the gear that they are issuing us is top-notch. Really good stuff. I'm actually looking forward to qualifying with the weapons. We will have to qualify with the M-16 and the M-9(9MM pistol) before we can deploy. Should be a fun day of shooting. Everyone take care and I'll write more when I can.

TIPTOE through a MINE FIELD

Today, I'm pissed off....Why? I'm going to address an issue that is always inflammatory. Freedom of Speech and Religion are always hotbed contention points, but this issue definitely needs to be dealt with. I'm a big believer in the rights of individuals, especially those rights given to us within the Constitution. Now, for me, this is not a "black or white" discussion; admittedly with alot of gray area. Some folks just don't know when enough is enough.

A Perfect example is the Westboro Baptist Church is Topeka, Kansas. I'm sure most of you know exactly who they are; you may not associate the name with the group though. The 60 or so members of this "church" are mostly family members borne from one hatemonger. They are the group that goes to servivemembers' funerals and protest loudly and obnoxiously. They hold signs up with quotes like, "God hates dead Soldiers" and "You are dead because God hates you" and even, "Soldiers are Fags and God hates Fags". Unbelievable! I won't even dignify them by posting a link to their site. They have managed to somehow wrap the world's troubles into one ugly little package. They call it "God's will"; I call it "Stupid, insensitive, absurd shit-spewing". Some of you are much more knowledgeable on religious issues than I will ever be, but I truly don't believe these folks represent God's word. In fact they don't represent much of anything, except a self-centered notion that they are the chosen ones. The angry Sailor in me says, "We should kick everyone of their asses and burn their facility to the ground". The reasonable American in me says, "They are excercising their freedoms and to just ignore them". A very difficult pill to swallow. Of course I don't advocate any physical confrontations or malicious actions on these folks...but it is a difficult, heart-tearing issue. In my readings of the Bible, the Qu'ran and the Torah...I've found at least one "verse", in each, that is representative of "Turning the other cheek". This is probably the best course of action regarding these folks...I just hope once my "cheek is turned"; they don't decide to punch me in it.

There is one group, The Patriot Guard Riders that has elected to "combat" the Westboro Baptist Church. Their means are completely non-violent and are truly patriotic. They PGR are a motorcycle club, with members in all the states. When a fallen hero's funeral takes place they will roll into town, escort the procession and stand "guard" against the WBC all the while with presenting American flags. They create a physical barrier and an emotional barrier against the venom of the WBC. They are truly a unique group...a honorable group. In my view, they represent what America is; A country of "open-arms", sensitive to the hardships that servicemembers endure and while not necessarily agreeing with the politics of war, they are still supportive of the individuals involved. They will only be present at the funeral if requested by the family, electing to remain unintrusive. The Patriot Guard Riders are heroes in my book. I hope if my family is put into a horrible situation, the PGR will be there to support them.

Now, before I get a bunch of "hate comments", remember this IS MY blog and not representative of any view except my own. Not the military's, not the government's. Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and they all stink. I told you guys I was pissed-off today.

CRY HAVOC and let SLIP the DOGS of WAR

An interesting quote by good ole Bill Shakespeare. I wonder if it still has its original meaning today? Over a few discussions with people, here and there, I get the feeling that folks who have never been in the military don't always really understand the life of Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine. In some regards I wonder if people IN the military understand the life, as well. If we look at today's military compared to yesterday's...the average service member today is better educated, more worldly and far better treated. Is that a good or bad thing???...that is a one hell of a quandary. Unfortunately the sometimes overt sentiment I receive from "civilians" is one of disdain at "our" performance during the recent conflicts/wars. I'm shocked that they think that I (a LCDR/O-4) somehow have any "pull" in the policy making or war process development. I have to explain to them that, " I don't make policy decisions and neither do my immediate supervisors" and we as "operators" merely put those policies into action. Now from an "operator" standpoint...my belief is that we are kicking ass and taking names.

My father spent nearly 32 years in the military, serving in Vietnam and pretty much every conflict from Vietnam through Desert Storm. He was a straight-shooter kinda guy. A very smart...and a very tactful man. He knew how to tell someone to F**K off and make them feel good about it. After growing up in a share-cropping family in the northern midwest, he looked for an escape to a better life. The military offered that for him. For many folks, a constant paycheck and useful skills training is a huge lure to the service. For he and I, I think we found more. A brotherhood and community where you are challenged everyday. When I say "challenged" I'm referring to the "seeking self improvement" aspect. But sometimes you have to ask yourself: Was that generation better than we are? I applaud our young service members for entering the service during tough times. Knowingly dedicating a part of your life to the service of our country during wartime is commitment that most folks will not and can never understand the rationale of. The military has morphed substantially since the first time I raised my hand to give the oath...but I have the utmost faith in our people. The 70 or so people in my group deploying to Iraq are an amazing bunch. They are a group that are as diverse as any community, military or civilian. I will be serving with folks who are deploying to a war zone for their second and third times. WOW. I'm serving with people who will never be promoted to the next rank...but are still motivated and still love the job they are doing. I'm serving with folks who have been promoted so quickly that one wonders whether they have the experience to do justice to the positions they hold. Conversing with them for about 5 minutes will put your mind at ease...and you realize they were promoted so fast for a reason. As an "old guy" in the military you sometimes wonder about the "young guys" motivation. I will say it is alive and strong. In fact they adapt and overcome much more readily than us old guys. The military should have a 'bring a civilian to work day"...I think that would answer alot of questions and put reservations aside.

I am deploying to Iraq in a job that I am not necessarily trained to do. But being surrounded by the quality of people with me, makes the issue seem small. If I don't watch my back, one of these "young guys" is going to pass me up like I'm standing still. America be proud of these folks and support them through the good and the bad....because you have a direct hand in making the leaders of tomorrow.

My Dad was killed in a car wreck nearly 9 years ago. He never saw his only son fly a jet in protection of our country...but he had an American flag sticker on his car and always wore a patriotic ball cap. He loved this country and the service, even when it was not reciprocated. Guys like my Dad and his generation had alot to teach my generation. I only hope my generation can do the same for our "younguns".

The picture above is SgtMaj Kasal (center/wounded), awarded the Navy Cross for actions in Fallujah, Iraq while a member of 3rd Battalion, 1st Marines.