Wednesday, April 11, 2007

ALRIGHT...ALRIGHT, I NEED A VACATION


My posts have been sparse lately...I suck. Early April has become a stressful time in my life over the last few years...and being in Iraq hasn't helped in the least. I won't get into the details about it all but I'll just say that my new work location and the people I work around have added to that stress level. Oh and it has rained for two days now...remember, muddy and dreary. I kinda feel like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now. You know the scene where he is laying in bed staring up at the ceiling fan with the sound of helo rotor blades "whopping"...and loses it. YEAH..that's me recently. I haven't done any damage to my mirror...but I have listened to the Doors.


Having been a guy that has worked "operationally" for my entire military career (over 17 years) being in a pseudo-staff role now...is absolutely painful. "Hey we have a meeting in 5 minutes with Colonel Smuckatelly!" "What the F&*$, didn't we just have a meeting an hour ago?!?!" What could we possibly talk about this time? Apparently in the Army, they like to have meetings all the time. Meetings to answer the General's questions, the Colonel's questions, the Lt Colonel's questions, but mostly so I can watch my Army counterparts fumble through powerpoint slides. I'm not saying that I'm the "best thing since sliced bread" but I do know how to brief information. That has been my job for quite a few years. Any tactical Navy Aviator is quite adept at "briefing" information. We do it before every flight and we do it after every flight. So watching a not-so-experienced Army guy fumble and bumble through information is just painful for everyone involved. Don't worry the 2-star General that we work for, let's them know it too. I think it is just a different mentality between us (two F/A-18 pilots) and the Army guys. They get very nervous and discombobulated while briefing the General. We figure, "hell, he puts his pants on the same way I do...and I just want to put out my pertinent info and get the hell out of this meeting." We are lucky, in the sense, that we get to leave the FOB and head out on various missions related to our specific work here...the Army guys don't. I'm amazed at how many staff folks the Army has compared to their number of "shooters" or infantry guys. I came up with my own plan to solve some manning problems. Fire half of your staff force, give them rifles and get them into the fight...that would quicken this war. But hey, I'm just a lowly Navy O-4...what could I possibly know? Serenity now...serenity now...serenity now. But the next Army O-4 that condescendingly tells me how to do my job...I'm going to go Chuck Norris on.


By the way, Chuck Norris once ate a 75 ounce steak in one hour, but he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress. Insert laughter here!!


For my bro in Arizona...I received the packages and THANK YOU!! Everything has been very useful. You are a gentleman and a scholar.


Well, I'm off to work. When I get there I'm going to put my headphones on and listen to some Rollins Band or some Korn...that should calm me down. Note the sarcasm. For those of you who have never listened to either one of those bands...don't...afterwards, you will want to beat something or someone senseless. I posted a picture of a lake here and the view across it...one small bit of serenity in a hectic world.


R, K and G...I love and miss you! Send some medication...I need to be heavily medicated to deal with these folks.

3 comments:

Reign of Reason said...

Glad it the stuff got there intact...

Sounds like it's time for another package. Address the same?

Stay sane brother.

(The serenity now got me laughing)

Slug said...

Hey dude! Glad to hear you are out there and keeping us safe. Wish the news networks would give equal time to all the GOOD things you all are doing, instead of just the crap you have to endure. IZ OK - IZ OK!

Slug

James said...

You're right about the meetings...We don't need more troops here. We need more troops outside the wire. We have a whole Brigade of MPs here who do nothing but give speeding tickets to their fellow soldiers...Nevermind the fact that we have intrusions on our perimeter every day...Those guys are SPEEDING!